


Occupational Hazard

by Dreamshaper



Series: Workplace Romance [2]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Holtzbert - Freeform, and annoying ghosts, bit of angst and anxiety, bit of smut too later on but nothing too detailed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-13 10:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7974100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamshaper/pseuds/Dreamshaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A ghost on the loose leads the Ghostbusters to Columbia University, and the bust has bigger consequences than expected for the team. At the same time, Erin and Holtzmann enjoy their new-found relationship and getting closer to each other. Sequel to Handle with Care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set about a month after my first story for this fandom, Handle with Care, ended - it is not strictly necessary to have read that one though to understand this one, I think, unless you want to know how Erin and Holtz ended up together :D

It had been almost a month since their first kiss, and still Erin sometimes found it hard to believe that this truly and actually was happening to her, that she truly was dating Jillian Holtzmann.

Part of her kept fearing that one day, Holtzmann might wake up and decide that this had been going on long enough, that she was getting bored of Erin and that she’d find someone who’d be better suited for her, adventurous and a bit eccentric, just like herself; whenever these doubts came up though, all Erin had to do was think about how Holtzmann looked at her, the love and warmth and, when they had one of their make-out sessions, passion in her gaze, and the doubts stopped again, for a while.

It helped, too, that Abby and Patty were fully supportive of their relationship, even though they were teasing them mercilessly whenever they got “too sugary-sweet” around them, as Patty tended to put it; not even a week after their first kiss, Abby had taken Erin aside during a quiet moment and had told her that, in all the time she had known Holtzmann, she never had seen her so at peace with herself and simply happy, hurriedly adding something rather crass when Erin choked up in response.

“If you break her heart though, I’ll break your face”, she had added, and that had had the desired effect, namely making Erin laugh again while she’d shaken her head; she’d wondered if Holtzmann had gotten a similar speech from Abby herself or perhaps from Patty, aware that she was so much more relaxed and at ease with herself since they had started dating, but didn’t know how to ask, and if it had happened, Holtzmann didn’t mention it to her.

_Well, if you want to know, you can just ask her,_ the physicist pondered as she prepared their morning coffee in the HQ’s kitchen, by now spending more nights here than at her actual home, _you know she’d tell you. But on the other hand, does it matter?_

“Oooh”, Holtzmann’s voice from behind her, as if her thoughts had summoned the engineer somehow, “early in the morning and I see two of my favourite things.”

“Coffee and me?” Erin guessed, even though technically, there was no coffee yet, the machine not switched on yet; she glanced over her shoulder as she spoke, and the moment she saw the smirk curling Holtzmann’s lips, she nearly groaned, knowing perfectly well that she had walked right into whatever would come from the blonde next.

“Your cute lil butt and you”, Holtzmann told her, and even though they had been dating for almost a month, and the development of their relationship hadn’t had any impact on the engineer flirting with her, Erin still blushed, wondering if she’d ever get used enough to this to stop reddening whenever the smaller woman said such things to her.

“Cause there is no coffee yet”, Holtzmann said out loud what she had been thinking just moments ago as she moved over to her, “at least not in a drinkable form. Good morning, babe.”

They shared a brief, but gentle kiss, and even though they had done so surely a thousand times since they had started dating, it made Erin’s heart flutter; just like the blushing whenever Holtzmann complimented her, she wondered if this would ever stop, and wasn’t quite sure if she wanted it to.

“You know”, she then mused out loud, while she finished her work on the coffee machine and it began blubbering away merrily, “isn’t my cute lil butt, as you put it, part of me? So you only saw one of your favourite things, namely me.”

“Well, yeah, if you wanna be super-accurate about it, I guess so”, Holtzmann conceded, only to smirk again as she went on, “but I knew you’d say the coffee and me thing, and I wanted to make you blush when I tell you otherwise.”

“Of course”, Erin replied with a roll of her eyes, unable to hold back a smile though, showing that the words weren’t as harsh as they might have sounded; Holtzmann winked at her, then stole another brief smooch before she moved on the fridge, asking the physicist if she liked eggs, too, and what kind she wanted once Erin had nodded her agreement.

“Scrambled?” Erin half asked, half stated, “with ham? Do we have ham?”

“We do”, Holtzmann let her know, holding up the pack as if to prove it, “ham and scrambled eggs it is, then.”

That Holtzmann was quite the good cook was an astonishing little fact Erin only had learned about her after they had gotten together; and one of the routines they had developed since then was making breakfast together, Erin in charge of coffee and Holtzmann of the food. (Holtzmann had offered to make the coffee, too, but after Erin had let her once and had realized that she made it way too strong, she had taken over on that front, arguing that she was too young to have a heart attack.)

Whenever Abby and Patty were around in the morning, Holtzmann made enough for all four of them – five, if Kevin came in early enough; on this particular day though, it was just the two of them, and since the coffee was already running through, Erin had done her part and had ample time to watch Holtzmann work.

And watching her work was one of her favourite things in the world, she had discovered already before they had started dating; it didn’t matter if she worked on one of her projects or just made breakfast, Erin just loved watching her, and this was what she did now, leaning against the counter as Holtzmann prepared their breakfast.

To her slight dismay, ham and eggs didn’t take all too long, and wasn’t very complicated, either; and so, there wasn’t much for her to watch, but she made the best of what she got, and also, she got quite the tasty breakfast out of it.

Just as they sat down to eat, they heard Abby call out from the entrance hall, announcing her arrival; and not long after her, Patty and Kevin arrived, too, sitting down with the couple even though there wasn’t nearly enough breakfast for all of them.

“What’s the plan for today?” Abby asked as she unpacked the breakfast she had brought along, having been aware of the fact that she’d arrive too late to be factored into how much food had to be made, “assuming no one’s gonna call in a ghost, that is.”

“I got this new thing almost done”, Holtzmann told her between sips of coffee, “you know, the proton machine gun, Erin did a great job with the calculations, we’re gonna take ghosts apart with this baby soon, if testing works out fine.”

“I like the sound of that”, Patty smirked, while Erin beamed at the compliment, making Holtzmann smile at her; and just then, the phone rang, Kevin by now at least having learned enough to get up and go to answer it, the four women waiting for his return, curious if it was another haunting or just a telemarketer or something equally harmless.

“Work for my favourite ladies!” Kevin announced as he came back, beaming proudly while waving around a Post-It on which he had written down the information in his loopy scrawl of a handwriting, “ghost on the loose at Columbia University! And I did not say goat this time, did you notice?!”

Erin nearly choked on her coffee when she heard where the haunting was happening, suddenly painfully sure that it was no ghost at all, but some sort of prank, thought up by her former colleagues there, and she almost told this to her colleagues… when she felt Holtzmann place one hand on her leg beneath the table, where the others couldn’t see, the engineer giving her a reassuring look as she glanced over at her.

“Um”, Abby said, realizing a bit belatedly that this might not be a place Erin would be happy to go to, “you know, if you wanna, you can sit this one out, Holtz is back in action so the three of us…”

“No”, Erin interrupted her, shaking her head, “I’m going with you. These people called us for help, so we’ll help them. All four of us.”

Abby gave her a concerned look, didn’t question her though; instead, she simply said “Let’s go, then”, and after both Erin and Holtzmann had gulped down their coffee, they all came to their feet and hurried to get their gear, Erin telling herself that she could do this and that she’d be able to handle this, especially as long as her friends would be by her side.

* * *

Holtzmann, Erin reflected, was probably the only person in the world who was capable of parking a car in a passive-aggressive way; she couldn’t even have said what gave her the impression, but somehow, she knew that the engineer was doing just that when she pulled Ecto-1 up to the curb the closest they could get to the university building and killed the engine.

“Be kind to the car, Holtzy”, Patty admonished as they got out of the Cadillac, clearly having picked up something, as well, even though she wasn’t quite sure what it was; Holtzmann let out a non-committal grunt in response, then moved to the back of the car and pulled out their equipment, the few people walking past watching curiously how they geared up, one of them even snapping a picture with her phone.

“That goes on my Instagram”, they heard her announce, pride in her voice; Abby took a moment to smile at her, making her squeal, then the four of them got moving, not quite surprised to find that Filmore, the dean, was waiting for them at the large front doors.

“We evacuated the building”, he told them after greetings had been exchanged, both Erin and him having sounded carefully neutral when they had said Hello to each other, “it should only be the ghost in there now. He was in my office last.”

“We’ll start there, then”, Erin stated, giving her best to sound calm and professional and as if she didn’t want to yell “I told you so!” into the man’s face; he nodded, not quite sure if he should say anything else, but apparently, he had given them all the information they needed, since they got moving, Erin in the lead, Holtzmann right behind her, Abby behind the engineer and Patty bringing up the rear.

They moved quietly, a skill they had developed fairly quickly during their work; as they approached the dean’s office though, they realized that this hadn’t been strictly necessary, the ghost still in Filmore’s office, and making enough noise there that they could have charged down the hallway screaming and he wouldn’t have heard them.

“Lord, what is that ghost doing in there”, Patty whispered, raising an eyebrow, only Abby hearing her though and shrugging, “sounds like he’s taking the place apart.”

“Makes it easy to find him though”, Abby pointed out, earning a nod from the historian; a few steps ahead of them, Erin reached the door leading to the dean’s office, and she took in a deep breath as her fingers curled around the knob, a brief look over her shoulder giving her the reassurance that the others were still there, her heart speeding up as she turned the knob and pushed the door open.

The ghost was so busy with wreaking havoc that he didn’t even notice them; he looked fairly unremarkable, especially considering the chaos he was causing, reminding Erin of a few guys she had known during her time at university, the shy guys who’d always sit in the far back, pressing their books to their chests with thin arms and peering at the world through thick glasses, always bewildered by the social codes and norms around them.

“Um, hi, hello”, Erin tried to gain his attention, instinctively pulling her head between her shoulders when he roared and threw a heavy book against one of the few still unbroken picture frames, shattering it, “hello! Young man!”

“Worthless!” he roared in response, his jaw unhinging unnaturally – and causing Erin to shy back, since this usually led to the ghosts spewing slime everywhere, preferably right on her; the ghost did no such thing though, at least not for now, but grabbed another book and hurled it at them, forcing them all to duck down quickly.

“ **Worthless**!” the ghost shouted again, loud enough to make their ears ring; and then, just as they began to straighten up again, he shot forward, so fast that Erin only had time to react in form of her eyes widening – before he barrelled into her, knocking her over with ease, his burning eyes staring directly into hers while his mouth opened wide again.

_Oh my God he’s gonna spew right in my face,_ Erin still had time to think, squeezing her eyes shut while she heard Holtzmann shout behind her, yelling at Abby to get the proton puncher so she could get the ghost away from Erin; the slime never came though, the ghost instead lowering his face until his lips were almost touching hers, whispering “Worthless” to her, a draft of cold air rushing down her throat and sending a shiver down her spine.

“Worth—” the ghost repeated, and then Abby was there and punched him, punched him hard; he flew off and against the wall, a bright flash of light blooming up at the impact, forcing Erin to squeeze her eyes shut again, the afterimages still dancing in the darkness behind her eyelids despite how fast she had reacted.

“Erin”, she heard Holtzmann again, while the ghost shot past them and out into the hallway, Abby and Patty chasing after it, daring to open her eyes again when she felt Holtzmann take hold of her shoulders, the engineer sounding highly concerned when she spoke on, “Erin, babe? You okay?”

“Fine”, Erin croaked, struggling to sit up, Holtzmann for a moment looking as if she wanted to stop her, then helping her along; her throat felt oddly cold, and was burning a bit, but she blamed that on nearly having been frenched by a ghost, grimacing as she wondered if he actually had spit some slime down her mouth when he had gotten right into her face.

“Come on”, she said after having cleared her throat a few times, wishing for some water, but figuring there was time for this later, “let’s help Abby and Patty, that ghost looks like a harmless nerdy guy, but he certainly isn’t.”

“You can say that again”, Holtzmann grumbled, looking concerned when Erin cleared her throat yet again, “you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah”, the physicist reassured her, clearing her throat again afterwards, “he just… I don’t know, slimed into my throat or something, it’s kinda gross. Don’t smooch me now.”

“Aw”, Holtzmann let out, smiling a bit and making Erin smile back at her almost automatically; for a few seconds, they just smiled at each other, then remembered that they still had a ghost to bust, Holtzmann practically jumping back to her feet before she helped Erin up, too.

As if on cue, they heard the ghost roar somewhere down the hall, followed by the unmistakable sound of proton guns being fired; quickly, they ran to join Abby and Patty, the strange behaviour of the ghost soon forgotten as they got ready to catch him, his roars and cries of “Worthless!” quickly ending once all four were focusing their proton streams on him, Holtzmann having the trap readied the moment the ghost had been weakened enough to be captured, her booted foot slamming down onto the button which closed it the second the ghost was safely stored within it, the four cheering each other as yet another ghost had been successfully busted.


	2. Chapter 2

“Here hot stuff”, Holtzmann smirked as she came strolling into what they all called the after-work-lounge by now, a part at the far back of the HQ where they had put up a bunch of comfortable seats and a large flatscreen TV, the latter courtesy of the mayor’s office, “I made you some tea, you know, for your throat. With honey.”

“Aw, thank you”, Erin smiled, looking up from her book and at the engineer from her comfortable place on the couch, accepting the mug with steaming hot tea when Holtzmann held it out to her, “that’s very considerate of you.”

For someone who appeared so eccentric and confident and full of swagger, Erin quickly had learned when they had begun dating, Holtzmann had a surprising – and well hidden – tender side; they all had gotten a glimpse at it after the Rowan Incident, when she had made her unexpected, but touching speech at the bar, but now that they were dating, Erin got to see more and more of it, the tea the smaller woman had brought her just another demonstration of the sweetness and tenderness which was hidden somewhere deep beneath all the swagger and quirks.

“Come snuggle with me”, the physicist half offered, half asked, moving a bit on the couch so Holtzmann could actually do what she had suggested; smirking, Holtzmann didn’t need to be asked again, almost flopping down onto the couch in her usual fashion, then realizing that this might be a bad idea when her partner was holding a mug with hot tea and sat down the regular way instead, taking a moment to get comfortable before she put one arm around Erin’s shoulders.

Aside from being a brilliant engineer and official proton wrangler of the team, Erin had discovered, to her delight, that Holtzmann was not only quite the good kisser, but also an excellent hugger and cuddler; and she took advantage of that now, snuggling up to her, mindful of the cup with hot tea in her hand, a content sigh coming from her when she felt the engineer move one hand to play with a strand of her hair.

“Yum”, she let out after she had taken a careful sip of the tea, once she could be sure it wouldn’t burn her tongue, “you made it just the way I like it.”

The odd coldness was gone from her throat by then, and even though it felt a bit irritated and sore from all the throat-clearing, she figured that the tea would help with that, and that it’d be fine by next morning.

“Well, I know how you like it by now”, Holtzmann pointed out, “I’ve watched you make it a hundred times.”

Erin just smiled in response, taking another sip of the tea; for a while, they sat there in comfortable silence, Holtzmann playing with her hair and the physicist drinking her tea, relieved when the sore feeling began to lessen after the fifth or sixth sip.

“So, how weird was it for you”, Holtzmann finally broke the silence, “to be back at Columbia?”

“Not as weird as I had thought it would be”, Erin let her know after thinking about this for a moment, “it was a bit strange at first, especially when Filmore was standing there and telling me he has a ghost in his office, but once we were inside, I was too focused on ghost hunting to think much about it.”

“Psh, that Filmore guy”, Holtzmann said derisively, shaking her head for emphasis, “you know, I thought you got a giant stick up your butt when we met, but he’s even worse. He’s got a whole oak tree up there.”

“Holtz”, Erin half gasped, half said, not sure if she should be amused or mortified; Holtzmann just shrugged in response, and after a moment, Erin giggled after all, shaking her head to herself.

“Is that so”, she then demanded to know, raising an eyebrow at her partner, “you thought I have a stick up my butt?”

“In my defence, you did appear kinda prim and proper when I saw you for the first time”, Holtz defended herself, Erin having to admit that she had a point, shaking her head though as she poked the engineer’s side – where she knew she was ticklish – and giving her best to sound quite prim and proper when she replied.

“And still you hit on me”, she pointed out, “which reminds me, have you just been sitting there all this time, watching Abby and me argue, waiting for a chance to say that pickup line?”

“Sure”, Holtzmann replied with a shrug, clearly not embarrassed, “and I picked up the blowtorch just for that, too, I wasn’t really using it.”

“Dork”, Erin told her affectionately, earning a low chuckle; she smiled, then craned her neck for a tender kiss, the couple pulling apart again just as Abby and Patty came to join them, armed with bags of takeout from their favourite Chinese restaurant, and of course, the two immediately took the chance given for teasing.

“Good thing we got Chinese and not pizza”, Abby started innocently enough, only to make Erin groan with what she said next, “cause with how cheesy the two of you are, we all would have ended up lactose intolerant!”

“That is not how you get lactose intolerant”, Erin pointed out, making Abby roll her eyes while she put the bags down onto the table; Patty smirked, then went to get plates and cutlery for their food, calling out to the couple over her shoulder as she walked, unaware that her words made Erin’s heart plummet from her chest all the way to her stomach.

“Don’t complain Abby”, the historian said, raising her voice to be heard as she kept moving away from the little group, “we can be glad they were just smooching and not doing it right there on the couch!”

For some reason Erin didn’t want to think about for too long, Abby and Patty both seemed convinced that Holtzmann and she had a sex life rivalling that of horny teenagers; and she wondered how they would react, should they ever find out the truth, if they’d think less of her, perhaps make fun of her… or think that she was leading Holtzmann on.

Because the truth was that they hadn’t had sex once yet, and as the days passed, Erin worried more and more that soon, Holtzmann would get fed up with this, even though the engineer kept reassuring her that it was no problem at all for her to wait until she felt ready whenever she felt insecure about this.

“You haven’t seen me go all out cheesy yet”, Holtzmann was saying next to her, distracting her from these thoughts, “what you just witnessed, that was harmless, believe me.”

“I’m not sure I want to see that”, Abby told her, earning a low chuckle; forcing her insecurities aside, Erin made herself smile, not missing the brief questioning look though Abby shot her, and nearly groaning – the woman always had been good at reading her, the few years they hadn’t been speaking to each other hadn’t changed that, and suddenly, she was sure that Abby would ask her about this all too soon, not quite sure how she felt about that.

Perhaps, she thought to herself while Patty came back with plates and cutlery and began moving their food from the take-out containers onto said plates, it wasn’t a bad idea to talk about this to someone; and if she had to talk to anyone about it, it would be Abby, she loved Patty dearly, but wasn’t quite sure that she knew her well enough yet to talk about her troubles with any intimacy which went farther than kissing and some point between first and second base.

On the other hand though, the thought of speaking of this made her feel quite mortified all over again; she wondered what Abby would think of her, how ridiculous this had to sound – here she was, a woman in her forties, with a good career and a whole bunch of degrees and awards, and she was frightened of having sex with her partner.

_Don’t be stupid,_ she thought to herself, barely registering it when Patty handed her chicken chop suey to her, _Abby would never laugh at you for this, and Holtz understands, she told you she does._

_For now,_ another voice whispered back, the voice of insecurity she had been struggling with for so long, _but she won’t understand forever._

She had given her best to let none of her thoughts show through her features, but apparently, Holtzmann had noticed _something;_ balancing her plate with fried noodles on one leg, she reached over and placed one hand on her upper leg, giving her a bright smile when she glanced over at her, the sort of smile which never failed to make Erin smile back at her, no matter if she was struggling with insecurities or frustrated about hitting a mental roadblock in her work.

“Cheeeeeesy”, Patty declared, earning a low snort from the engineer; figuring that this was enough of an answer, Erin just shrugged, then focused on her food, giving her best to push her insecurities and worries aside, something which was made quite a bit easier by Holtzmann’s reassuring presence right next to her.

* * *

 

A few hours later, Abby and Patty had left the HQ, heading to their homes; after Holtzmann and she had gotten together, Erin had made up excuses when they had gone home and had asked her if she would come with them, but by now, she had given up on that, simply telling them that she’d stay and rolling her eyes at the knowing smirks they gave her then.

It had gotten quite late, and they both were somewhat tired, but none of them quite ready to go to bed; Holtz was working on what she called “the ghostbusting equivalent to a chainsaw”, to Erin’s slight concern, and the physicist was going over her calculations for the proton machine gun once more, just to make sure it wouldn’t blow up in Holtzmann’s hands – the engineer was almost fully recovered from her dreadful fall down the stairs, only a twinge in the shoulder she’d dislocated reminding her of that unpleasant experience every now and then, and Erin certainly didn’t want her to get hurt again anytime soon.

And so, she stood in front of the large whiteboard, one Holtzmann had put up especially for her, and which covered the whole length of one of the walls in the engineer’s workshop, giving her ample room for her work, her neat handwriting covering most of it already though; she frowned at the calculations, having been sure that they were right the previous evening, but suddenly doubting herself, frowning at the number and letters as she tried to figure out where this feeling that she had made a mistake somewhere in her calculations was coming from.

Behind her, Holtzmann was working on one of their proton packs, always tinkering with them to make them better and lighter to carry; as always, music was playing softly in the background, but while she would have minded that when she still had been working at Columbia, it didn’t bother Erin at all here, but only served to inspire her, especially when Holtzmann hummed or even sang along.

It seemed to her that, since they had started this relationship, Holtzmann played a lot more songs with references to love and romance than before; Erin wondered if she was aware of it, didn’t ask her about that though, but simply enjoyed it, especially whenever Holtzmann was singing along and looking at her, sending pleasant shivers up and down her spine.

“Erin, my dear”, the engineer interrupted her singing to address her partner, “would you come here for a moment, I think I got it, just need you to tell me if the pack is easier to carry now.”

Nodding, Erin capped her marker, then moved over to where Holtzmann was standing and holding up the proton pack; she took the pack from her and put it on, surprised by how much lighter it seemed, nodding at once when Holtzmann asked her if she felt a difference.

“A big one, actually”, she told the engineer, turning to face her, her heart fluttering with excitement at how proudly Holtzmann beamed at her in response, “it’s way easier to carry now, how did you do that?”

“Well, now with the city actually funding us, I could get some better material”, Holtzmann shrugged, still smiling though, “and I figured I’d use that to make the packs lighter first, before Abby really does end up with her spine compacted and has to go see a chiropractor.”

“We don’t want that”, Erin agreed, hopping up and down a few times, amazed by how much easier this was with the new version of the pack; Holtzmann watched her, smiling slightly, then leaned against her workbench while Erin tried a few more moves, like crouching down and coming back to her feet, something which was much easier now, too.

“You know”, Holtzmann drawled, the tone of her voice making Erin look at her again, her cheeks flushing at the way the engineer was looking at her, with that certain heat in her gaze, unable to remember anyone else ever having looked at her like this, “you look really hot right now, with that pack and all. Not sure what that says about me.”

“That your taste is as eccentric as the rest of you?” Erin hazarded, smiling; Holtzmann just smirked, then reached out with both hands and grabbed the straps of the proton pack, pulling her closer, their lips meeting for a kiss which quickly turned quite passionate.

“Really hot”, Holtzmann murmured after they had pulled apart again, sounding a bit dazed, but still with that heat in her eyes; not quite sure what to reply, Erin just smiled, then pulled her in for another kiss, unable to hold back a content sigh when she felt Holtzmann’s arms warp around her, still at times finding it hard to believe how good such simple gestures made her feel.


	3. Chapter 3

“We still gotta bill Columbia”, Abby told the gang in the next morning, after breakfast had been had and they all were sitting in the little kitchenette, “hey Erin, should we add a little something for how dickish Filmore was to you?”

“Ha”, Holtzmann let out, “an annoyance tax. I’m all down for that.”

“He was civil though before the bust”, Erin pointed out, “just a little bit cold, maybe. But he could have been worse.”

“Good for him he wasn’t”, Holtzmann grumbled, earning a smile from her girlfriend; after a moment, she smiled back at her, then Abby spoke up again, just in time to keep them from getting lost in each other’s eyes.

“Okay, no annoyance tax, then”, she stated, scribbling on her notepad, “but a little bit extra for that ghost knocking poor Erin over. We know they can afford that, so we don’t need to feel bad. Hey, did the proton pack get damaged when you landed on it? Then we can bill them for the repair, too.”

“Write down two hours of my precious time”, Holtzmann smirked, adding a wink which made Erin flush and prompted Abby to roll her eyes; she wrote it down without question though, and Erin couldn’t help but wonder what Filmore would have said, had he known that he was being billed for basically ninety minutes of Erin making out with Holtzmann, the repair not having taken much longer than half an hour.

_Well, he won’t care about how long we made out, just the fact that I’m making out with another woman will be enough to give him a stroke,_ she then realized, smiling to herself; she imagined his face at seeing Holtzmann and her kiss, and that nearly made her giggle out loud, the blonde shooting her a curious look, but not asking her what was so funny, coming to her feet instead.

“Well, I got some work to do”, she declared, prompting Erin to get up, too, “if it all works out, testing for the proton machine gun should be possible this afternoon. So keep ready for that!”

“I’m terrified”, Patty deadpanned, earning a smirk from the engineer; then, she made her way upstairs, Erin following her, the physicist making a beeline for her whiteboard, still having the strange feeling that she had missed something and that there was a mistake in her calculations.

“We better go over this again”, she told Holtzmann as they entered the lab together, “I don’t want this thing to blow up in your face or something.”

“Looked good to me”, Holtzmann shrugged, as always trusting in her skills, “but if you want to, sure.”

Erin gave her a brief smile, then moved on to her whiteboard, staring at the numbers intently; and this time, she found the mistake fairly quickly, relieved that it hadn’t been a major one which could have endangered them, but still glad that she had caught it.

“Here”, she pointed it out to Holtzmann, “I messed up a bit here. We better correct that before we test the machine gun.”

“That shouldn’t take long”, Holtzmann told her after taking a quick look at what Erin had pointed out to her, not quite as sure that it was wrong, but figuring that Erin knew what she was talking about, being the physics genius she was, “I can do that right now.”

She moved back her workbench and, with Erin’s new calculations, made a few adjustments to the machine gun; Erin watched her work, unable to keep a smile off her face, fondly thinking back to the time she had helped Holtzmann with her projects, almost rolling her eyes at how much she had denied her attraction to the engineer back then.

She knew that she should get back to her own work, but watching Holtzmann was much more entertaining; the blonde was lost in her work again, so focused that Erin wondered if she actually remembered the physicist was there, or if she had reached that certain state again, the one where Erin often ended up bringing her food so she wouldn’t actually forget to eat.

Thinking of food made her realize that they hadn’t brought anything to drink upstairs with them, and she figured that she might as well get them something; Holtzmann didn’t even seem to notice when she left, but when she came back, the engineer looked up from her work immediately – and then pushed herself off her desk with both feet, rolling back with her chair and turning as she did so, Erin letting out a surprised giggle when the blonde reached her and wrapped both arms around her mid-section.

“You left me”, she complained into Erin’s stomach, earning another giggle, “just walked off without saying goodbye.”

“I just went to get us drinks”, Erin pointed out, unable to stop smiling – Holtzmann wouldn’t be Holtzmann, she thought to herself, without these odd little moments, when what Erin affectionately called “Holtz’ inner dork” came through, “cause if I don’t, you don’t drink for hours, and that is not healthy.”

Holtzmann’s response was immediate and unexpected – she took in a deep breath, and then gave Erin a raspberry of epic proportions, the noise this produced almost drowning out the squawk Erin let out.

“Holtz!” she then protested, trying to squirm out of her partner’s hold; in response, Holtzmann tightened her hold for a moment – and then pulled Erin down onto her lap, the chair rolling back a bit at the sudden movement, until Holtzmann stopped it by putting her feet down on the ground.

“That”, Erin told her, shifting a bit on her lap got get comfortable, something in the engineer’s pocket poking in her thigh, “was awful. Never do that again.”

“Aw, it was fun”, Holtzmann gave back, the only answer she got was a raised eyebrow, and she smirked, trying “it was a little fun?” next and earning a snort from the physicist, the noise making her chuckle once more.

“Okay, I’ll try not to do it again”, she finally conceded, “can’t promise anything though. Cause it _was_ fun.”

“Dork”, Erin gave back, rolling her eyes, but unable to keep a smile off her face; Holtzmann had a moment to smile back at her, then Erin’s hands came up to her jawline and she leaned down for a tender kiss, still amazed at how good the simple action of pressing her lips to the engineer’s made her feel.

“Okay”, the physicist mumbled after the kiss, “I can safely say that your mouth is all dry, so it’s a good thing I left to get drinks.”

Holtzmann snorted in response, accepted the can of soda Erin offered though; the redhead got off her lap again, opening her own drink, and they both took sips of it before the engineer gestured at the proton machine gun waiting on the workbench.

“I think this baby is ready for testing”, she told her partner, “get the girls and meet me with them in the side alley?”

“Sure”, Erin gave back, even though she didn’t very much fancy the thought of getting off Holtzmann’s lap; telling herself that it had to be done for science though, she slid off the smaller woman, then made her way downstairs, letting Abby and Patty know that the machine gun was ready for testing.

“Oooh I’m curious about that one”, Abby said cheerfully, tossing her pen onto the table and coming to her feet; Patty put her book down and got up as well, and the three of them made the way into the alley, where all their new weapons were tested.

It didn’t take long for Holtzmann to join them, proton pack on her back and machine gun in hand; she gave a brief talk about how it worked, the pride and joy in her voice making Erin feel all warm and tingly inside, and after the explanation, it was time for the demonstration, Holtzmann declaring that she’d be the first one to test the new weapon, since the last few tests all had been made by the other members of the team.

“This is built to disintegrate ghosts we don’t want to capture”, she explained as she aimed for the ghost painted on a wooden board they used as target (roughly the fiftieth they had made, Kevin by now quite adept at painting the ghosts quickly onto the wood), “and to hit them fast and hard. Watch.”

She took a moment to aim, then carefully pulled the trigger; immediately, the gun began firing marble-sized projectiles of proton energy, tearing holes into the wooden board and the ghost on it, and for a few seconds, Holtzmann felt energetic at how well it worked, and at the cheers and whoops the other three were letting out.

Then, she realized that something was wrong – the gun was vibrating in her hands way more than it should, and even though she was wearing her fingerless gloves, she felt the weapon heat up alarmingly fast through the leather, until she was starting to fear it might burn her.

“Holtz!” Erin said in alarm the second Holtzmann noticed as well what had caught her girlfriend’s attention, namely that sparks were flying from where the machine gun was connected to the proton pack now; reacting on instincts honed by dozens, if not hundreds of explosions, Holtzmann let go of the trigger, but the sparks were still flying, smoke rising from the tubing connecting the gun to the pack now, and she reacted to that, as well, with one powerful rip tearing the gun from the pack and throwing it as far from herself as she could.

It was airborne for about two seconds, then it exploded in a shower of sparks and flying parts and billowing smoke, all four women turning away from the shrapnel and ducking down, and somehow, miraculously, none of them got hit.

“Jesus”, Holtzmann broke the silence which had formed after the explosion had died down and the last pieces of shrapnel had hit the floor, “what the Hell? I haven’t had a weapon blow up like that in ages!”

“Are you alright?” Erin demanded to know, rushing to her side now that the danger seemed to be over; at first glance, Holtzmann appeared grumpy, but unhurt, nodding at the physicist’s question, a low huff coming from her afterwards.

“But that shouldn’t have happened”, she then said, glaring at the bits and pieces of the machine gun, “it was supposed to work just fine. I don’t know what went wrong.”

Still grumpy, she kicked at the nearest piece of bent metal and sent it flying; glad that her partner was alright, Erin shook her head, then placed one hand on her arm, her relief quite audible when she told her that this didn’t matter, as long as she was alright.

“I am”, Holtzmann reassured her, with another glare at the sad remains of the proton machine gun, “but now I have to start over. That makes no sense, even if there had been some sort of small mistake, it shouldn’t have blown up like that.”

_It was your fault_ , a tiny voice whispered in the far back of Erin’s mind, and somehow, she managed to keep her face carefully neutral despite the spike of fear and guilt this sent through her, _these corrections you made? They messed the whole thing up, she could have gotten hurt or even killed and it would’ve been your fault._

“Well”, Holtzmann sighed, interrupting the dark thoughts, “back to the drawing board it is, I guess.”

Erin could have said something then, could have told her that there was a good chance that her _correction_ of the calculations was to blame; she kept quiet though, and just nodded, telling herself that it would be bad enough to come clean with just Holtzmann, and that admitting her mistake in front of Abby and Patty, too, would only make it worse.

Still she felt bad for keeping quiet, as if she actually had lied to her girlfriend; and as she watched how Holtzmann gave the ruined gun another unhappy look, then went back inside without another word, something cold and painful made her stomach clench up, and she asked herself how exactly she should explain to her that it had been her fault, that Holtzmann could have gotten seriously hurt or even killed because of a mistake she had made, her stomach plummeting even further as she once again asked herself why the engineer put up with all of this.


	4. Chapter 4

“Holtzmann?” It had taken her almost an hour, but finally, Erin had found the courage to come clean; as she entered the lab though, and found Holtzmann frowning at her notes for the proton machine gun, her courage nearly left her again, a thousand ways Holtzmann could react to her mistake rushing through her mind, and none of them pleasant.

That it _had_ been her mistake, she knew for sure by now; she had checked her calculations during the time she had needed to find the courage to tell her girlfriend what she had done, then had checked them again, and had been chagrined to realize that the corrections she had made actually had messed everything up, turning a prototype which would have worked into an unstable and highly dangerous mess.

“Hey babe”, Holtzmann greeted her in response, looking up from her notes, the way her frown vanished at once and she began to smile when her eyes met Erin’s only making the physicist feel worse, and she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, Holtzmann would look at her differently once she had told her what she had done; clearly, some of these thoughts and emotions showed through her features, since the engineer’s smile slowly faded, replaced by a look of worry.

“It was my fault”, Erin blurted before Holtzmann had a chance to ask what was wrong, “the machine gun blowing up, I… I checked the calculations again and I made a mistake, it was my fault… I’m sorry…”

“Oh”, Holtzmann let out, and for a second, Erin was sure that now, the explosion would come, that the engineer would yell at her and ask her if she had been trying to get her killed on purpose or if she just was that dumb; and then, Holtzmann smiled, and shrugged, and the physicist felt decidedly unreal, blinking as she tried to figure out how to react.

“Ah well”, Holtzmann said, sounding as nonchalant about the whole thing as she looked, “stuff like that happens. Did you fix it?”

“Well, yes”, Erin gave back, still reeling mentally from how casually Holtzmann was reacting, “but… aren’t you mad?”

“No”, the engineer replied at once, “mistakes happen, that’s nothing to get mad about. Ha, you should have been there when I just had started working with Abby, I blew something up at least once a day.”

“But you could have gotten seriously hurt!” Erin clearly wasn’t as willing to let herself off the hook so fast, “if you hadn’t figured out what was happening, and had tossed that thing aside, what if it had blown up in your hands?! That could have done some serious damage, if something happens to your hands…”

“Coulda, shoulda, woulda”, Holtzmann replied dismissively, earning a look of disbelief from Erin, “doesn’t matter. I’ve been around enough explosions to see when one is about to happen, so no danger there.”

Not sure what the appropriate response to that was, all Erin could do was give her an unhappy look; and after a moment of holding her gaze, Holtzmann’s eyes softened and she came to her feet, moving to where the physicist was standing and wrapping her up in her arms, Erin tensing up for a moment before she allowed herself to relax into the embrace.

“Stop beating yourself up over this”, Holtzmann murmured into her ear, the feeling of her warm breath on the sensitive skin there sending a pleasant shiver up and down Erin’s spine, “mistakes happen, alright? We’ll just pick up the pieces and try again until we get it right.”

“Mistakes happen, yeah”, Erin had to admit, “but that kind of mistake shouldn’t happen, as I said, you could have gotten hurt…”

“I also could have opted out of eating tacos yesterday evening, then I wouldn’t have had heartburn this morning”, Holtzmann shrugged, earning a raised eyebrow from her partner, “but I didn’t, cause those tacos were delicious and I regret nothing… and also, I sort of lost the metaphor here, but you know what I mean, right?”

“Not really”, Erin gave back with a small laugh, earning a smirk from her partner, “and I still can’t believe that you take this so easy, but…”

“Let me show you something”, Holtzmann replied after a moment, letting go of her so she could move to the couch; curious, Erin walked with her and sat down next to her, raising an eyebrow again when the engineer opened her pants and slid them down over her knees, wondering where this would lead, an unspoken question which answered itself moments later as Holtzmann gestured at her knee and Erin, for the first time, saw the scar there, a startlingly thick, white line which ran over her kneecap all the way to the hollow of said knee.

“Got that from my first explosion”, Holtzmann told her, her casual tone not quite fitting the serious expression in her eyes, “I bled everywhere, and for a second, I thought I’d cut off my leg. And that happened because I made a mistake, not even a big one. It happens, it happened to you too, but no one got hurt, and it’s alright. Stop beating yourself up over this.”

“That must have hurt a lot”, Erin mumbled, unable to look away from the scar, again wondering how she never could have seen it before as she ran her fingertips over it; Holtzmann shrugged, then nodded, making Erin look at her again with her response, her rather crude wording earning her another raised eyebrow from the physicist. “Bled like a bitch, too, but it gave me a badass scar to impress the ladies with, so, worth it. Not that I need to impress many ladies these days, I like to think I already impressed the one which counts.”

At this, Erin smiled again, unable to keep a slight blush from colouring her cheeks; Holtzmann smiled, then leaned closer so she could tenderly kiss her cheek, the physicist’s smile having widened by the time the engineer pulled back.

“Alright”, she then said, her fingers still tracing the scar, the physicist suddenly finding it hard to pull her hand back, “if you can forgive me, then I imagine I should be able to forgive myself, too.”

“There’s nothing to forgive”, Holtzmann reassured her, stopping her from exploring the scarring any further by grasping her hand, “as I said, mistakes happen. Ha, the next time Dr Gorin drops by, I’ll ask her to give you The Worst of Holtzmann, then you’ll see that a little mix-up with a few numbers is nothing to worry about.”

“I’m not sure I want to hear that”, Erin replied with a small laugh, earning a toothy grin from the engineer; then, the blonde leaned in for a brief, but tender kiss, clearly not minding the fact that she sat there with her pants around her ankles, Erin kissing her back more than willingly, telling herself that Holtzmann was right and that she had to stop blaming herself for what had happened, figuring that the only thing which counted was that nothing bad had happened to any of them.

* * *

 

“Holtz!” Erin said in alarm as the tube connecting the proton machine gun to the pack begun to smoke; Holtzmann ignored her though, and kept on firing, not reacting the slightest when sparks flew from the weapon.

“Holtz!” Erin tried again, panic in her voice now, as she just knew that something would happen, something bad, any moment now; still Holtzmann didn’t react, even though flames were licking up from the machine gun’s barrel now, and she had to feel that, because her gloves had begun to smoke, too, there was no way in Hell she didn’t feel that.

“Holtzmann!” Erin cried out, and then the gun exploded, and Holtzmann was screaming, and there was blood, so much blood, it was everywhere, spouting from the ruins which had been her hands moments ago, and Erin screamed too, knowing it was her fault, her fault…

Erin awoke with a gasp, sweat covering her whole body; somehow, she had managed to not scream out loud during the dreadful nightmare, Holtzmann still fast asleep next to her, showing her that she hadn’t thrashed around in her sleep, either – she had nightmares unsettlingly often, and whenever she moved a lot during them, or made noise, Holtzmann woke up and tried to calm her down, holding her close and whispering to her until she either woke up or the nightmare stopped.

With a heavy breath, she slumped back into the pillow, figuring that she must have done _something_ with her voice box in her dream, since her throat felt oddly dry and a bit sore; not wanting to wake Holtzmann up after all though, she refrained from clearing her throat, but simply snuggled up to the engineer instead, unable to hold back a smile when in response, Holtzmann let out a strange mixture of grunt and snore and somehow managed to drop an arm around her without waking up.

Getting comfortable in the loose embrace, Erin rested her head on the engineer’s shoulder, even though she had to scoot down a few inches to do so; Holtzmann let out another grunt at her movement, still didn’t wake up though, slumbering soundly while Erin found the perfect spot for her head and allowed herself to relax again.

_That didn’t happen_ , she told herself as she closed her eyes again, hoping that no more nightmares would plague her, _Holtzmann is fine, she’s right here next to you, you’re halfway on top of her, in fact, she didn’t get hurt, this was just a bad dream, and she told you it was okay. Everybody makes mistakes._

She held back a sigh, aware of how acutely attuned Holtzmann was to any noises she made in her sleep, and still not wanting to wake her up; she closed her eyes and willed herself to relax further, knowing that she had work to do tomorrow, if they weren’t called to a bust, having a moment to hope that she’d sleep peacefully for the rest of the night before she drifted off into sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

In the next morning, Erin was the first to wake up, almost immediately relieved that no more bad dreams had haunted her; she still laid in Holtzmann’s arms, and realized, with a hint of embarrassment, that she had drooled on the shirt the engineer wore to bed, then shrugged the feeling off, telling herself that this wasn’t the first time this had happened – and Holtzmann had drooled on her before, too, so she figured that this kinda sorta made them even.

Carefully, she tried to disentangle herself from Holtzmann without waking her up, failed that though – just when she had thought that she’d done it, the blonde let out the weird mixture of snort and sore, then her eyelids fluttered open, a smile curling her lips the moment her gaze met Erin’s, the physicist’s heart melting a bit at this reaction so early in the morning, never before having had anyone in her life to look at her like that just after waking up.

“Good morning, hot stuff”, Holtzmann murmured, voice hoarse and throaty after sleeping, sending shivers up and down Erin’s spine; she wished her the same, almost moved in for a good morning kiss, then remembered the fact that they both had morning breath and stopped herself.

Holtzmann had no such qualms though, either not realizing or not caring; she closed the little gap between them the rest of the way, and Erin didn’t try to stop her, a low hum of content coming from her when their lips met.

“You know”, she stated after the brief and rather innocent kiss, while getting out of bed, “you’re probably the only person in the world who’s allowed to kiss me without brushing teeth first.”

“I feel honoured”, Holtzmann replied with a chuckle, earning a smile from her partner; she smirked back at her, then they made their way into the bathroom together, by now having developed a sort of routine there, too – Holtzmann took the shower first, while Erin brushed her teeth (Holtzmann did that in the shower, too, which more often than not led to Erin stepping into globs of toothpaste when it was her turn, to her chagrin), then Erin showered while Holtzmann quickly took care of her hair.

Once again, Erin wondered if it actually made sense to still keep her apartment, seeing how much time she spent here at the firestation with Holtzmann; she hadn’t been home for a week, she realized, by now having enough clothing at the HQ that she didn’t even need to go home for that anymore, and little by little, all her research materials had their way to the headquarter with her, so that by now, all which was left in her apartment was clothing she didn’t really wear anymore, old books she hadn’t looked at in ages and an ancient bottle of ketchup in the fridge which by now probably had developed a personality of its own.

As she brushed her teeth, and heard Holtzmann do the same in the shower, she thought about her lease, wondering when it would be up for renewal – and if she should actually renew it, or just move into the firestation for good, asking herself if perhaps, it was too early to suggest this to Holtzmann, with their relationship not even a month long yet.

On the other hand, she reasoned, she practically was already living here anyway; talking about it to Holtzmann would only make it somewhat official, put a label on something which was already a thing, anyway, and she always had been quite fond of having things labelled and organized, a trait Holtzmann often teased her about, telling her that she was dating the exact opposite of a person, someone who thrived on chaos and knew how to handle it.

“Opposites attract”, was all Erin usually said to these teases, with a little smile; and usually, Holtzmann’s response made her smile widen and brought a bit of colour to her cheeks, the engineer telling her each time they had this exchange, without fail, that this had to be quite true, because she was very, _very_ attracted to her indeed.

“Careful with the toothpaste in there”, she called out when she heard Holtzmann spit, earning a low chuckle which drifted up from behind the shower curtain, “stepping in those blobs is almost as bad as getting slimed.”

“Now you’re exaggerating”, Holtzmann said, poking her head out of the curtain to raise an eyebrow at Erin, “getting slimed is a million times worse. Been there, done that, remember.”

“Not nearly as often and as badly as me, though”, Erin pointed out, the impression that the slime was indeed targeting her specifically having grown stronger and stronger since they had started this whole Ghostbuster business; smirking, Holtzmann had to admit that this was quite true, retreating into the shower to finish in there while Erin made use of the mouthwash.

Just as she got done with that, Holtzmann finished in the shower, not bothering to wrap herself up in a towel just yet, but stepping out naked instead; she smirked at the look Erin shot her, clearly not perturbed the slightest by the way the physicist practically was ogling her, but for once not making a snarky remark, either, simply giving her another few moments to stare before she finally grabbed a towel and covered up.

“I think I hear Abby and Patty downstairs”, Holtzmann told her as she got started on her hair, while Erin took a moment to regulate the shower temperature – and wondered, again, if they’d ever be able to have a shower together, with the vastly different water temperatures they preferred, Holtzmann claiming that she showered too cold while she told the engineer that what the blonde was doing wasn’t showering, but actually cooking herself beneath running water, “more breakfast to make today, then.”

“You spoil us”, Erin told her, having set the temperature to her liking, “let’s hope there won’t be another call to a bust before we get done, like yesterday.”

“Yeah, so inconsiderate of that ghost”, Holtzmann gave back, amused, “but at least, he did you the courtesy of sliming in your face, for a moment, I thought he would, when he was all on top of you.”

“God, me too”, Erin replied with a shudder, “that would have been so gross, can you imagine? It’s bad enough to get slimed all over, but right in the face, from such a close distance… no thanks.”

“I would have helped you wipe it off, though”, Holtzmann told her, and Erin was glad that the shower curtain was hiding her, since she was pretty sure that her blush spread all the way to her chest; and again, she wondered why she still reacted like this whenever the engineer said such things to her, after all, they were officially dating, calling each other partner and girlfriend, so certainly, there was no reason to blush anymore when such things were said to her.

“I’m gonna go and get started on breakfast”, Holtzmann told her, apparently having gotten done with her hair, “come join us when you’re ready?”

“Sure”, Erin gave back as she reached for the shampoo bottle; she smiled to herself when Holtzmann made kissing noises in her direction, then her footsteps moved out of the little bathroom and faded away, the physicist smiling to herself as she washed her hair, feeling relaxed and content, convinced that she’d get quite a bit of work done during the day.

_Just make sure you don’t mess up again, you could get someone killed next time._

That thought had come pretty much out of nowhere, and Erin froze for a moment, swallowing as it brought back her nightmare; then, she forced herself to push these dreadful images aside, reminding herself of what Holtzmann had said to her, that mistakes happened and that, in the end, it all had ended well, no one had gotten hurt, and Holtzmann had told her that there was nothing to forgive, so she should stop blaming herself, as well.

She shook her head briefly as if to clear it, then focussed on getting the shampoo out of her hair; thankfully, no more unpleasant thoughts invaded her mind, and by the time she got done and out of the shower, she successfully had pushed the nightmare to the farthest corners of her mind again, confident that she’d forget about it fully soon.

As she brushed her hair, she could hear the others talking downstairs, unable to make out what they were saying though; she heard Patty’s unmistakable laugh and smiled to herself, pondering that, if someone had told her half a year ago that she’d end up working as a Ghostbuster with three other women, and then date one of them, too, she would have laughed and called that person crazy… and here she was now, in a relationship with the team engineer and busting ghosts for a living.

_They’re laughing about you. They know how much you fucked up and now they’re laughing about you, they’re gonna kick you out and find someone more qualified, and you’ll be out in the street, penniless and homeless._

She froze again, then took in a deep breath as she told herself not to be stupid, that certainly, this wasn’t the case – Abby and Patty hadn’t even been there when she had admitted her mistake to Holtzmann, and the engineer had shrugged it off so easily, treating it as no big deal, that Erin sincerely doubted she’d even thought of telling the other two about it.

For a moment, she wondered where these dark thoughts were coming from – she had dealt with them quite a bit when she had been a teenager, before she had met Abby, and then again when she had tried to be someone she simply wasn’t, for Columbia, but it had been getting much better from the moment on the four of them had teamed up for the first time to hunt a ghost, and only had been increasing when she finally had allowed herself to act on what she felt for Holtzmann.

_Well, on the other hand,_ she then thought to herself, as she finished the rest of her morning routine, still hearing the others talk and laugh downstairs, but by now sure again that they weren’t laughing about her, _years of anxiety don’t just vanish over night, not even with an amazing girlfriend like Holtz._

Again, she forced the dark thoughts out of her mind, telling herself not to be silly as she moved to get dressed; and by the time she had made herself presentable and went to join the others downstairs, she was relaxed and content again, peacefully unaware of the darkness which continued lurking in the farthest, most hidden corners of her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a filler chapter, but I promise there'll be more action in the next one ;) Thank you all for reading, kudos, commenting so far :D


	6. Chapter 6

An hour later, the couple had retreated to the second floor of the HQ, both eager to get some work done; Holtzmann was working on a new prototype for the proton machine gun, humming along with the music playing in the background, the clatter of her tools when she tossed one of them onto her workbench and picked up another one somehow always perfectly in sync with the rhythm of the music.

This made Erin think back to when she had moved atop the Chinese restaurant with Abby and the engineer, back to the little dance Holtzmann had performed for her back then; by now, she knew that this just had been one of the many ways the blonde had flirted with her, but when it actually had been happening, she remembered with an odd mixture of embarrassment and fondness, she hadn’t been quite sure what to think of it, not having recognized the flirting for what it was, and having been quite convinced that, as much of a genius Holtzmann was when it came to her engineering, she had to be an oddball of epic proportions about everything else.

_Well, not that you were so wrong with that assumption,_ she then realized, as she looked at the engineer, her work on the whiteboard momentarily forgotten, _one can’t deny that she is an oddball, but a very charming and sweet one._

“Erin, apple of my eye”, Holtzmann said in this same moment, as if she had heard her thoughts, “you have a minute? I need your skilled hands here.”

“Your hands are way more skilled than mine”, Erin pointed out, moving over to the workbench though, “what do you need?”

“Just hold this here please”, Holtzmann instructed, pointed to a rather small piece of metal, briefly prompting Erin to hope that her partner wouldn’t use the blowtorch next; then, she told herself not to be stupid, and that Holtzmann would never endanger her like that, a thought which was confirmed moments later as the blonde took hold of her screwdriver, then quickly fixated the piece of metal with a ridiculously tiny screw, asking Erin to give it a few experimental tugs afterwards.

“Don’t hesitate to pull with all your strength”, she suggested when the physicist gave quite the careful tug, “this baby needs to hold while firing two to three proton bullets per second. Imagine you’re pulling the hair of someone you don’t like!”

The comparison made Erin smirk, and she shook her head as she took hold of the piece again; she pulled until she felt her fingers might break, then finally let go, and told Holtzmann that apparently, she had done a good job, the thing holding firm.

“Good”, the engineer stated, apparently dismissing it as done; this made Erin a bit nervous though, the physicist figuring that Holtzmann was quite a bit stronger than she was, thanks to lugging all that heavy equipment around all the time – not to mention the stuff she carried home from her trips to various dumpsters and garbage dumps, even though she took Kevin along to these trips by now – and she wasn’t quite sure if her strength alone should be trusted.

_Especially not after how you messed up—_ her brain began, but she cut if off rigorously, something which was much easier in Holtzmann’s presence; clearing her throat, she said “Holtz?” and made the engineer look at her, gesturing at the proton machine gun the moment she had her partner’s attention.

“Maybe you should give this a try, too”, she suggested, earning another questioning and slightly confused look from her girlfriend, “just in case? I mean, you do have a bit more strength in your arms than me. And in your upper body and legs and shoulders too, I imagine.”

“Nah, it’s okay”, Holtzmann gave back, making it Erin’s turn to raise an eyebrow, “you pulled pretty hard, it holds. No need to strain my muscles, too, unless you just wanna see me flex, but in that case, all you have to do is ask.”

“While you flexing is quite the sight”, Erin gave back, smiling, her smile only widening at the wink Holtzmann gave her in response to that, “all I think about right now is our safety, particularly your safety when you test this thing again.”

“GUYS!” Abby hollering from downstairs interrupted their conversation, “ghost to bust! We gotta get moving now!”

“I’ll make you pull this thing later”, Erin told Holtzmann, earning a vaguely agreeing noise from the blonde – before she, with a happy whoop, ran to the pole and used it to slide down to the ground floor, an activity she took great joy in no matter how often she did it, while Erin took the more conventional approach by hurrying down the stairs.

“Gear’s already in the car”, Abby greeted her as she arrived on the ground floor, practically shoving the coveralls into the physicist’s hands, Holtzmann already busy with pulling on hers, “judging from what the woman said on the phone, it’s a Class 3, should be a piece of cake for the four of us, but better to be safe than sorry.”

“Also, the house is kinda big”, Patty added her knowledge to what Abby had been told by Kevin, “so we might have to split up. And no, Erin, you don’t have to ask, if we have to go in groups, it’ll be you with Holtzy and me with Abby.”

“No making out on the job though”, Abby told them, smirking at the look Erin shot her for that, while Holtzmann just let out a little “Awww”; Abby rolled her eyes, then, as Erin had finished with her coveralls, they all got moving, hurrying to the garage and getting into Ecto-1, Holtzmann taking the wheel as always, letting out another noise of joy as she practically stomped down onto the gas pedal and the car rushed out of the garage, the other three Ghostbusters by now having given up on reprimanding Holtzmann for her driving, just holding for dear life as the blonde raced to their goal.

* * *

 

The house indeed was quite big, and since the ghost didn’t do them the favour of showing up right away upon their entrance, they did decide to split up; and just as it been decided beforehand, Erin and Holtzmann went together, taking the cellar and the ground floor, while Patty and Abby would check the first floor and the attic.

“Let’s start at the cellar”, Erin suggested, earning a nod from her partner, “if I was a ghost, I’d hide down there.”

“If you were a ghost, I’d refuse to bust you”, Holtzmann told her, keeping her voice low though so the ghost would not hear them if it really was down there, Erin giving her a brief look and raised eyebrow before she slowly and carefully opened the cellar door and pushed it open, “I’d try to find out all about the ethics of ghost dating.”

“I’m not sure if I should feel flattered or concerned”, Erin let her know, earning a low snort; they briefly smiled at each other, then both focused as they snuck down the stairs, ending up in a dank, dark hallway, the mouldy smell making Erin wrinkle her nose.

“We should advise them to clean up down here once we are done”, she told her partner, glancing left and right as they snuck down the hallway, both of them knowing that the ghost could pop out of the wall any moment, “or this whole structure might come down around their—”

The ghost appeared right between them out of nowhere, with her back to Erin, and screeched at Holtzmann; the engineer’s finger twitched, but she kept herself from firing, realizing in the last second that the ghost was too close to both Erin and her, and that it’d only endanger them both if she’d try to snare or destroy it now.

“Contact, we made contact!” she heard Erin hurriedly speak into the walkie-talkie, glad now she had modified them to work over longer distances than usual and through thick stone walls like this cellar had, “cellar, right in the hallway at the stairs!”

She backpedalled frantically as she spoke, trying to get enough distance between the ghost and herself that she could safely use her proton gun without endangering Holtzmann or herself; getting the hint, Holtzmann began to move backwards as well, as fast as she dared, only to nearly stumble and fall on her butt when her heels hit the stairs, the blonde managing to keep her balance in the last moment.

“I really don’t like stairs lately”, she grumbled, the ghost steadily advancing, shrieking again; it looked vaguely female, wearing tattered clothes Patty probably could have dated correctly, but which Holtzmann only could describe as “old”, and just like the first ghost she had seen together with Erin, the apparition’s face suddenly changed, growing skeletal and ugly as its mouth opened impossibly wide.

_Well, it’s not gonna be Erin this time,_ Holtzmann still had time to think – and then the ghost began spewing slime at her, and she instantly regretted every single time she had made fun of Erin when this had happened to her.

It was unpleasantly warm, even more unpleasantly slimy, and she could feel it going _everywhere_ ; she had been quick enough to squeeze her eyes and her mouth shut, but it still clogged up her ears and her nose, slid inside her coveralls, into her bra and boxers, and it didn’t seem to stop anytime soon.

Finally, after what seemed like a small eternity, it ended; spluttering, Holtzmann tried to get the stuff away from her eyes and ears, so preoccupied that she didn’t even notice when the ghost turned to face Erin – and didn’t see how the apparition raised a bony hand and pointed at the physicist, opening its mouth again, to speak this time though, and not to spew slime once more.

Erin’s blood ran cold as she found herself strangely transfixed by the ghost, the way it was pointing and staring at her; before the ghost had a chance to speak though, Abby and Patty came rushing down the stairs, a quick look making sure that Holtzmann was more or less okay before they yelled at Erin to get down, and as she dropped to the floor, they began firing, the ghost shrieking when the beams hit it.

“Holtz, the trap?” Abby tried, but only got some vague spluttering noise in reply; Erin realized that there was no way Holtzmann could get the trap where it had to go, not with the slime covering her eyes and probably clogging up her ears like that, and so, she abandoned the proton gun they used to trap ghosts in favour of her proton shotgun, snapping at Abby and Patty to get down as she took aim.

They saw what she was about to do, and dropped down to their knees; the ghost turned to glare at Erin again, but she didn’t wait this time if perhaps, it had something to say, taking aim quickly instead – something she had gotten increasingly better at with each bust – and then pulling the trigger, the concentrated blast hitting the ghost and causing it to let out another shriek as it disintegrated.

“Good shot”, Patty complimented, coming to her feet again; Abby nodded her agreement as she helped Holtzmann up, the engineer still wiping at her eyes and spitting, wondering how the stuff could have gotten into her mouth after all, and vowing that she would never, ever make fun of anyone this happened to, never again.

“Bleh”, she let out when Erin asked her if she was alright, at least though finally getting enough of the stuff off of her face so she could see, “that is gross. So gross. Gross beyond words. Bleh.”

“I know”, Erin told her, sympathetic; she took hold of her arm, even though she wasn’t hurt and even though doing so brought her in contact with the slime, too, “and you’ll find out that it is really hard to wash off. I got a few tricks up my sleeve by now though, and I’ll let you in on them.”

“Thanks”, Holtzmann sighed, earning a smile from her partner; and then, the four of them made their way back upstairs, glad that at least, the ghost had been taken care of and nobody had gotten hurt, all of them quite aware of how fast things could go wrong in their line of work and how glad they could be each time they made it back to HQ safe and sound.


	7. Chapter 7

“Alright”, Erin said once they had made it back to HQ and she had steered Holtzmann upstairs, to the bathroom, “let’s get you cleaned up. You can just ditch the coveralls, no way we’ll get those clean again, and if you’re not particularly attached to what you’re wearing underneath them, I’d say ditch that, too.”

“Thankfully, I never wear clothing I’m particularly attached to when we go busting”, Holtzmann told her, already pulling off the coveralls; Erin felt her heartbeat quicken when the engineer’s bra and boxers followed, even though Holtzmann was practically covered in slime, the blonde grimacing at the slimy underwear as she let it drop onto the coveralls.

“Guess that’ll go into the incinerator”, she commented, then stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain close, hiding her body from view; briefly, Erin felt regret about this, then shrugged it off and leaned against the sink, making sure to not step onto the slimed clothing as she called out to her partner.

“I recommend using my shower gel this time”, she let Holtzmann know, earning a vaguely agreeing noise, “I’ve tested several and this one seems to work best. Same for the shampoo.”

“Your shampoo says it smells like a flower garden”, Holtzmann whined from behind the curtain, “I’m not sure I wanna smell like a flower garden. That is not very Holtzmann.”

“Well, unless we are called to another bust today, nobody’s gonna notice”, Erin pointed out, “and we’re not going to tell anyone, so you won’t have to worry about your street cred.”

“Did you really just say street cred”, Holtzmann replied with a small laugh; smiling, Erin shrugged, then realized that Holtzmann couldn’t see that, with the shower curtain hiding them from each other, but before she could come up with a verbal response, Holtzmann spoke up again, her words making it the physicist’s turn to laugh. “You just shrugged, didn’t you.”

“You know me well”, Erin admitted, earning another throaty laugh which gave her goosebumps; for a few moments after that, there was silence, then Holtzmann cursed, struggling to remove one of the bigger globs of slime, possibly without using up all of Erin’s shower gel.

“You were right, you know”, she grumbled, “that stuff really does go everywhere. How did it end up on my back? That thing was spewing at me from the front!”

“It’s a mystery”, Erin replied, not quite sure what else to tell her, “but yes, I know, it goes everywhere.”

Holtzmann grumbled a bit more in response, then focused on getting the stuff off of her the best she could; her hair and most of her front soon was clean, but there still was quite a bit of goo on her back, and she realized she’d never be able to get rid of that on her own.

“Hey babe”, she thus said, pulling the shower curtain aside, and noting how Erin’s eyes briefly widened and she swallowed heavily, not letting it show that she had noticed though, “mind helping me with getting that stuff off my back?”

“Um, no, of course not”, Erin stammered, in the next instant scolding herself for reacting like this, like a nervous teenager – Holtzmann was her girlfriend after all, so certainly, she told herself, there was no reason to be nervous about this.

“Awesome”, Holtzmann stated, turning so Erin could actually access her back; and before she could stop herself, the physicist’s eyes moved downwards, until her gaze landed on the engineer’s butt, and even though this wasn’t the first time she was checking said butt out, she quite liked what she saw.

“Washcloth?” she managed to say as she stepped closer to the shower, her voice quite a bit higher than usual; Holtzmann was kind enough to not comment on this though, but simply reacted by squirting a sizeable dollop of shower gel on the washcloth and foaming it up before she gave it to the redhead, Erin forcing herself to focus on removing the slime afterwards and not on how amazingly good Holtzmann’s body looked.

It was ridiculous, she thought to herself as she started removing the streaks of goo, how dry her mouth suddenly had become, and how fast her heart was racing in her chest; she scolded herself for behaving like a lovesick teenager, but couldn’t quite stop herself, and she wondered if she had any sort of effect on Holtzmann, too, and if the engineer was just hiding it very well.

She tried to control her breathing as she removed the last few bits of goo, then carelessly tossed the slimy washcloth onto the heap of just as slimy clothing Holtzmann had left on the floor; and then, before she could think about it too much and stop herself, she reached out and ran her fingertips down Holtzmann’s back, tracing her spine, all at once just knowing that she had quite the effect on her partner too when she heard the engineer take in a sharp breath.

She pulled her hand back, even though she wasn’t quite ready to stop touching Holtzmann yet; and clearly, the engineer felt the same, turning around to face her again and, obviously not caring that she was naked and wet while Erin was clothed and dry, pulling her closer for a kiss, one which started out tender, but quickly turned rather passionate.

All at once, Erin didn’t care anymore either that she’d get wet, one of her hands moving to entangle in Holtzmann’s hair – which, for once, was open and down, falling down over her shoulders in soft waves – while the other came to rest on her back; in response, Holtzmann’s arms moved to encircle her waist, and the feeling of that made Erin’s normally quite good impulse control die completely, and without thinking about it for a second, she let her hand slide down the engineer’s back, then to her front, a distinctive hitch in the blonde’s breath when she reached her destination.

“Careful there, hot stuff”, she then mumbled, after they had pulled apart again, Erin’s hand still where it had ended up though, “you’re getting me all worked up.”

“Am I”, Erin replied, somehow managing to sound completely innocent, a tone she contradicted with a small move of her fingers, her heartrate speeding up even further when Holtzmann let out a mixture of gasp and groan in response, “you make that sound like it is a bad thing.”

She kissed her again before she could say something, muffling the next groan she caused with her mouth on the engineer’s; she felt the engineer shift her hips slightly, closer to her and closer to her touch, and realized what they were doing, forcing herself to pull back from the kiss, telling herself that, while she didn’t want to stop, she certainly didn’t want to do this in the bathroom.

“I suggest”, she thus said, unable to keep her arousal out of her voice, and Holtzmann clearly picked up on it, her eyebrows raising before she smirked, “that we move this to the bedroom.”

The only response she got was that Holtzmann stepped out of the shower, then grabbed her hand and led the way to the bedroom; and once there, the blonde hurriedly worked on making sure she wasn’t the only one who was stark naked, the eagerness with which she undressed the physicist only making Erin’s arousal grow.

They kissed again, while Holtzmann slid the coveralls down until they puddled around Erin’s feet; pulling the redhead’s shirt over her head was quite impossible without breaking the kiss though, and so Holtzmann pulled back, shaking her head as she gave the taller woman another one of her trademark smirks.

“Still can’t believe you wear clothes beneath those coveralls”, she then said, earning a shrug from her partner; holding her gaze, Erin then smiled at her, letting her know that this could be easily remedied before she pulled her shirt over her head and carelessly tossed it aside.

“You’re so beautiful”, Holtzmann breathed, looking as if she needed all her willpower to not simply pounce her right there; and for the first time someone told her this, Erin believed it without doubt, unable to stop the blush from colouring her cheeks, but still smiling, leaning her head back for easier access when Holtzmann moved in to start kissing the sensitive skin of her throat, sending pleasant shivers up and down her spine.

“Okay”, she then murmured, some semblance of clarity coming back to her as she pulled back to look at Erin, “if at any point you want to stop, or don’t like something I do, you just tell me, okay?”

Feeling quite breathless by now, Erin just managed a quick nod, then pulled the engineer in for another kiss; and as she felt Holtzmann unbutton her pants and slide them down, her arousal impossibly grew even further, and she realized that she was as ready for this as she’d ever be, and that she wanted Holtzmann so much it almost hurt, all her insecurities and worries about doing this with the engineer forgotten as they fell onto the bed together, only able to focus on how good her girlfriend’s kiss and touch was making her feel.

* * *

 

Afterwards, Erin just laid there limply for a while, trying to regain her breath; she had been with men before, and had felt somewhat good after most of those encounters, but none of them ever had made her feel this way, and, while she wasn’t quite sure what this said about her choice of men, none of them had taken as much time to just focus on her and making her feel good as Holtzmann had.

For a while, it had been as if Holtzmann was practically worshipping her body, and as if she was trying very hard to touch and kiss every single inch of skin; and she had done quite the thorough job with that, too, turning Erin on so much that, by the time she focused her attention on that one certain area, all it had taken had been a few touches and a supernova had gone off in Erin’s body, literal stars exploding in front of her eyes as she had clung to the blanket and had cried out her lover’s name.

Now that she thought back to that certain moment, she blushed, hoping that Abby and Patty hadn’t heard; unlike her, she pondered as she laid there, trying to slow her racing heart, Holtzmann had remembered to keep quiet when Erin had reciprocated her tender touches, but the way she had groaned out the physicist’s name when her touch had an effect had shown her that her fears and insecurities about doing this had been completely unjustified, and it had been noticeable that Holtzmann hadn’t had an easy time of keeping the noise down.

“Okay”, Erin finally trusted herself to speak again, a heavy breath leaving her after that short word, “I think I can move again. Jesus Christ, Holtz.”

“Same”, Holtzmann gave back from where she laid draped over Erin’s midsection, like some sort of oversized housecat, lifting her head so she could look Erin in the face, “actually, wait, no, I don’t think I can get up yet. I might end up falling flat on my face.”

“Really?” Erin wanted to know, sounding just a bit too eager and delighted; chuckling, Holtzmann nodded, then moved enough so she was lying next to her – but did so with minimal effort, Erin noted – and began drawing invisible, but complicated symbols on the redhead’s stomach with one hand, smirking at her as she replied.

“Really”, she confirmed, “my legs are all trembly and weak. You made me trembly and weak, Dr Gilbert. You should be ashamed.”

“Should I?” Erin pondered out loud, raising an eyebrow at her, “cause if I were, it would mean I’d never do it again.”

“Oh don’t even joke about something so awful”, Holtzmann groaned, earning a giggle from her partner, “okay, no need to be ashamed then. None at all, in fact.”

She bent over her for a brief kiss, then let her head drop down onto Erin’s shoulder; the physicist felt as if she was grinning like an idiot as she moved one hand to play with Holtzmann’s hair, but found herself unable to stop, feeling happy and content, and hoping that this wouldn’t stop anytime soon.


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of the day was spent working in the lab, after both of them had regained their energy enough to do so; and if Abby and Patty had heard something, they were nice enough to not make any comment on it when the couple joined them downstairs them for dinner, even though Patty’s eyebrows did shoot almost all the way up to her hairline at the sight of Holtzmann with her hair down.

Once dinner had been finished, Erin and Holtzmann went back upstairs to get some more work done; the second prototype for the proton machine gun was almost finished, and Erin was somewhat amused to find out that apparently, making love did wonders for Holtzmann’s focus and efficiency, the engineer working with so much concentration that it was unreal, but, in true Holtzmann fashion, still humming or singing along with the music under her breath, turning exchanging one tool for another into a dance move each time, and winking at Erin every time she did it.

They had worked mostly in silence until Abby had hollered up to them that Patty and she were going home; after that, Erin had gone to get them something to drink, and they had worked some more, until both of them were tired enough to go to bed.

At least though, that’s what Erin had been thinking when she’d suggested going to sleep; apparently, Holtzmann had had other ideas, ideas she’d made quite clear to Erin quite quickly, and even though Erin had felt tired when they had retreated to the bedroom, she found herself aroused surprisingly quickly again, and figured that the things Holtzmann made her feel were well worth sacrificing an hour of sleep. Or two.

Afterwards, they had fallen asleep quickly, Erin resting in Holtzmann’s arms this time, her head on the smaller woman’s shoulder; and later, Holtzmann would wonder if it had been the lovemaking which had knocked her out so much that she’d slept much deeper than usual, so deep in fact that she hadn’t felt Erin get up at first.

She did wake up after a while though, and noticed at once that Erin was gone; briefly, Holtzmann thought that she had gone to the bathroom, but a quick turn of her head showed her that the light in said room was not on, and by now, Holtzmann was quite sure that Erin always turned on the light when she had to go there in the middle of the night, frowning to herself as she tried to figure out where her partner might have gone.

Then, she heard the noise from the lab, and frowned, wondering what Erin was doing _there_ in the middle of the night – it wasn’t unusual for Holtzmann herself to get out of bed at the oddest hours because inspiration had struck, but she never had witnessed Erin do so before, and from how the physicist had reacted the first time the engineer had done it when they had shared that bed, she wasn’t likely to do it, anyway.

Curious, Holtzmann got out of bed, not bothering to put on any clothes; her bare feet barely made any noise as she moved over to the door leading to the lab, and even though she wasn’t quite sure why, she made sure to open it as soundlessly as possible, her eyes adjusting to the dark quickly, and letting her see Erin standing at the whiteboard, as naked as she herself was, scribbling away with her back to her.

It took her another look to realize that she wasn’t moving quite as fluidly as she usually did, but that her movements were strangely wooden… and when she got closer to the whiteboard, and got a better look at the writing, her heart skipped a beat when she saw what the physicist was scribbling on the white surface.

Holtzmann didn’t know how long Erin had been doing this, but it had been long enough to write _worthless_ a few dozen times, the writing getting more and more erratic as it progressed, as if the physicist was getting more and more upset.

“Erin?” she carefully broke the silence, but just like Erin hadn’t reacted to her approach, she didn’t react to her voice, either; she just kept writing, the same word over and over again, and as Holtzmann moved to stand beside her, she saw that, even though the physicist’s eyes were open, they were strangely empty, and it occurred to Holtzmann that perhaps, Erin might be sleepwalking.

She tried to remember what she knew about this, and the first thing which came to her mind was some urban legend about how one should not wake a sleepwalking person up; the second thing though was the debunk of this, and she took a moment to figure out how to do this without scaring her partner, then settled for saying her name again, deciding that this would be less likely to startle her than just grabbing her.

“Erin?” she tried again when there once more was no reaction, “Erin, babe? You in there somewhere? Come on, wake up.”

At least, this time, she got a reaction, as the writing slowed down considerably, then stopped fully; for a few moments, Erin just stood there, her empty gaze looking straight through the whiteboard – and then, when Holtzmann said her name again, her eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed, only the engineer’s quick reflexes keeping her from hitting the floor as Holtzmann caught her at the last possible second.

“Erin”, she tried once more, now unable to keep a hint of alarm out of her voice, “Erin? Honey?”

She had a moment to think about how absurd this had to look, both of them stark naked, and Erin motionless in her arms as she knelt there on the floor of the lab; and then, just when she started to worry if she should call an ambulance – and if she’d be able to get some clothing on Erin before they arrived, cause she couldn’t just let them take her away all naked, could she – Erin let out a little groan and shifted slightly in her arms, Holtzmann immediately saying her name again, eager to get her to wake up.

“Babe”, she added, remembering that Erin liked it when she called her that, “you better wake up. Cause if you don’t, I have to call an ambulance, but I’d have to dress you, cause there’s no way I let some random ambulance guys sees you naked. Nuh-uh.”

“What…?” Erin croaked out in response, and Holtzmann nearly choked up on her own relief; momentarily, she tightened her hold on the physicist, then forced herself to loosen up again, not wanting to accidentally hurt the redhead, and giving her best to sound calm and casual when she spoke to her again.

“You here with me, babe?” she wanted to know, feeling Erin shift slightly in her arms, “all awake, hot stuff?”

“…yes?” Erin gave back, blinking, then looking around in confusion as she realized where she was, “why we are on the floor in the lab? And why are we… no, wait, I know why we are naked, scratch that. But why are we in the lab?”

“It seems you sleepwalked”, Holtzmann told her, helping her to her feet, but keeping an arm around her waist just in case, “and felt the need to write on the whiteboard. I woke up cause you were gone and went to look for you and found you here.”

“What”, Erin said, sounding confused, “but I’ve never sleepwalked before. And I certainly never sleep-wrote before… what did I…”

She looked at the board and squinted, and even though it was quite dark in the lab, Holtzmann could see her pale as she read the single word she had scribbled over and over; and when she looked at Holtzmann, the engineer could see the fear and dismay in her eyes, and her heart clenched up.

“I’ve never done something like this before”, Erin told her, a shudder running through her which caused the engineer to tighten her hold on her again, “not sleepwalking and certainly not… this.”

All at once, the air seemed to vanish from the room, and Erin found it hard to breathe, her heartrate speeding up drastically; it had been a while since she’d had a panic attack, but not so long that she wouldn’t realize what was happening at once, the realization only making it worse.

“Holtz”, she brought out in a tiny voice, feeling the engineer’s arms tighten around her in response, “Holtz I can’t… no air…”

Holtzmann never had been there when Erin had gone through this, it hadn’t happened once since they had started working together, at least not when she’d been around; she knew what was happening though, and tried to remember what she had read about panic attacks, how to help people suffering them get through them.

“Erin”, she said, figuring that reminding the physicist that she was there and that she wasn’t alone was a good start, “Erin, listen. Listen to me, focus on my voice, okay? It’s alright, you’re gonna be alright…”

She rubbed Erin’s back as she spoke to her, holding back a wince when the physicist clung to her in response, the redhead’s nails digging into her back; giving her best to keep her voice even and calm, she kept talking, telling Erin over and over again that it was alright, that she was alright, and that she was right there with her, helping her through this.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, even though Holtzmann was sure it had in fact only been a few minutes, Erin’s breathing calmed down again, returning to a more regular rhythm instead of the hectic gasps she had been letting out; eager to help her calm down further, Holtzmann kept speaking to her, reassuring her that everything was alright, and rubbing her back constantly, until Erin finally let out a shuddery breath and relaxed noticeably in the engineer’s arms.

“Yes, good”, Holtzmann encouraged her, tightening her hold on her a bit again, “that’s good, babe, keep breathing like that, that’s good.”

“Better”, Erin mumbled after another minute had ticked by, “I’m… I think I’m better…”

She felt embarrassed that this had happened, after she had gone quite long – for her standards – without having one of these dreadful panic attacks; and even though she said nothing about the embarrassment she felt, Holtzmann clearly had picked up on it somehow, rubbing her back soothingly again, and keeping her voice low and reassuring when she replied. “Good. That’s good, and don’t feel bad, it happens. Do you need anything? Water or something?"

“No”, Erin gave back, not quite daring to shake her head, feeling dizzy and exhausted now that the attack had passed, “thanks… Can we just go back to bed? And worry about this tomorrow?”

“Sure”, Holtzmann told her at once, moving one arm so it was around her waist and helping her to her feet, the physicist by now too drained to even feel awkward about the fact that they both were still fully naked, “whatever you want or need. Careful there, your legs might be a bit wobbly.”

She kept her arm around the taller woman’s waist, just in case, as they walked back to the small bedroom; they laid down side by side, and Erin immediately snuggled up to the engineer, a small sigh of content coming from her when at once, Holtzmann put both arms around her again, moving one hand to caress her hair while the other came to rest on her back.

“Get some rest”, Holtzmann murmured once they both were comfortable, earning a brief nod from her girlfriend, “it’ll all look better in the morning.”

Erin wasn’t quite sure how something like this could look better, no matter which daytime it was; she feared for her mental state as she thought back to what she had done while she had been sleepwalking, but finally, her exhaustion won out, and she drifted off into sleep, Holtzmann making sure to stay awake until the redhead was slumbering soundly, only allowing herself to fall asleep again as well once she could be sure that Erin was sleeping peacefully.


	9. Chapter 9

Erin had balked, at first, at letting Abby and Patty know what had happened during the night; Holtzmann had argued though that it wouldn’t be fair to not tell them, and that they, as her closest friends and colleagues, perhaps might be able to help, and since deep inside, Erin knew that her partner was right, she had agreed in the end, now awkwardly standing there as Abby and Patty stared at the whiteboard, not even Holtzmann’s comforting hand on her back helping the physicist relax.

“You’ve never sleepwalked before, have you”, Abby finally broke the silence, turning away from the whiteboard at last to look at her friend; not trusting herself to speak, Erin just shook her head, her gaze moving to Patty when the historian’s focus shifted from the board to her, and she almost expected some sort of accusation, or perhaps the advice that she should go back to therapy, so sure that she would hear these things that when Patty did speak up, Erin for a moment was sure she had to have heard her wrong.

“That’s what the ghost said”, Patty said, frowning, glancing at the whiteboard again, “the one at university, remember? He kept yelling that over and over, until we busted him.”

“That’s true”, Holtzmann realized, momentarily feeling like smacking herself for not having thought of this, “you think that has something to do with that creeper ghost? He did get all in your face, Erin, maybe he…”

“…possessed me?” Erin finished for her, frowning, not quite liking the thought, but figuring that it was still better than actually losing her mind, “well, we don’t know much about possession, but when Abby was possessed, she was quite a bit more proactive, wasn’t she?”

“Well, yes”, Abby had to admit, with an apologetic glance towards Holtzmann, who just smirked reassuringly her in reply, clearly having forgiven her faster for what had happened than she had forgiven herself, “but that was Rowan, and he was a big bully. And that ghost, he didn’t go… all the way in, as wrong as that may sound, he was still floating around yelling about how worthless he is after he got all in your face, as Holtz put it.”

“Perhaps the PKE meter can help”, Patty suggested, with a worried look at her friend, the thought that all this time, a ghost, or maybe just part of a ghost, had been hiding out inside her freaking her out quite a bit, “Erin, you hold it or something, and we’ll see if it reacts.”

“I’ll get it”, Holtzmann said, before Erin could point out that the meter hadn’t reacted the slightest to her ever since the ghost had gotten in her face; on the other hand though, she realized, she never had held it since then, Abby usually being the one who operated it, and if the ghost just had put a small piece of his essence inside her, just being in the meter’s general vicinity might not have been enough to set it off.

While they waited for Holtzmann to come back, Erin pondered the events of the days since the bust at Columbia; and all at once, she found herself wondering if all the dark thoughts she’d had in those days, and the mistake which nearly had caused Holtzmann to get hurt, had been her doing – or if it had been the ghost, using the bit he had gotten into her to manipulate her and manipulate their equipment. And then there had been the way the ghost they just had busted the day before had pointed at her, she remembered, and for a moment, it had seemed as if that ghost had been about to say something to her…

All at once, her sight blurred oddly, and she had a second to wonder if this was another panic attack; then, she started to feel oddly cold, almost expecting to see her breath fog when she breathed out, hearing Abby call out to her, but her friend sounded oddly muted, as if suddenly, she was underwater and Abby was somewhere above the water’s surface.

“Erin!” Abby tried again to get her friend’s attention, both Patty and her noticing how the temperature in the room plummeted; and then, to the terror of both of them, _something_ about Erin changed, her whole posture different all at once, her gaze hardening as she set her jaw, cold contempt in her eyes when she looked at Abby and Patty, a cruel smirk they never had seen from her before curling her lips seconds later.

“Well, then”, she said, the sardonic tone of her voice making the other two women shiver, “you figured it out. Faster than I thought you would, her reluctance to talk about her insecurities really helped. I _was_ hoping to get a bit stronger, but seems I built up enough to take the driver’s seat.”

“Get out of her”, Patty commanded, briefly wondering if slapping Erin would help the way it had when Rowan had been possessing Abby; before she could test this though, Holtzmann’s footsteps coming back distracted them all, the ghost within Erin raising an eyebrow sardonically when the blonde entered and immediately, the PKE meter in her hand began to spin like crazy, the engineer looking taken aback for a moment – before she got a closer look at Erin and paled visibly, figuring out at once what was happening.

“And there’s the lover”, Erin commented, laughing afterwards, a cold and scornful sound, “you know, it’s a good thing she finally got you laid last night, she was all worried that you might ditch her if she wouldn’t be able to do it soon. She still thinks you’ll drop her some day though, to find someone who’s not as uninteresting, boring and lame as she is.”

“Shut up”, Holtzmann pressed out between grit teeth, the fact that this… thing was talking about her girlfriend like that making her blood boil, “and get out of her.”

“Why”, the ghost taunted, laughing, the laughter so far from how Erin’s laugh usually sounded that it sent a chill down the women’s spines, “not like to hear that you’re dating a neurotic, anxious mess? The truth hurts, doesn’t it, _Jillian._ Tell me, was she even any good in bed, or did you fake it so she wouldn’t feel bad?”

Clenching her fists, Holtzmann took a step closer to the physicist, then reminded herself that this was still Erin’s body and that throwing a punch would only hurt her partner, and not the thing inside her; the ghost laughed again as it clearly thought the same thing, looking smug as it let Erin’s gaze wander from one woman to the next.

“So”, it then said, “I think I’ll take this body on a little… expedition. There’s a certain someone at Columbia who’s in dire need of a visit from me.”

“You’re not going anywhere”, Holtzmann responded, moving a few steps back so she was blocking the doorway; the ghost raised one of Erin’s eyebrows again in response, then smirked, sounding sickeningly sweet when it responded. “And you think you can stop me? You think you can hurt this body? You know you can’t.”

“Maybe not”, Holtzmann replied, making sure keep the ghost’s attention focused on her, “but I can grab that body and, if necessary, tie it down until we found a way to get you out of her.”

She made sure to keep her gaze fixated on Erin’s eyes, so the ghost wouldn’t notice what was happening behind it; and she was glad that she managed doing so, relaxing visibly when Patty finally snuck close enough to grab the physicist.

“Sorry Erin”, she said, easily restraining her despite how much she struggled, her body’s strength clearly not enhanced by the ghost as Abby’s had been with Rowan, “but this is for your own good!”

And with those words, she drew back, then slapped Erin hard across the face; and just like it had worked with Abby, it worked with the ghost inside Erin, too, a vaguely human-shaped blue spectre practically thrown out of her with an angry shriek, Holtzmann shooting forward the second she realized that Erin’s knees were buckling, and once more catching her in the last possible second.

The ghost, small as it was, just a sliver of the figure it had been when they had busted what it hadn’t stored within Erin, circled high up on the ceiling for a few moments, moments Abby used to make a rush for a proton gun; before she could get one though, the spectre shrieked again – and then went out through the window and was gone, leaving a startled group of women behind.

“I think I have to throw up”, Erin was the one to break the silence, and immediately, Holtzmann tightened her hold on her, only to realize that this might not be the best thing to do if Erin really was about to be sick a second later, “I can’t believe… all this time and… what he said… what he made me say…”

Erin’s stomach turned, and she pressed one hand against her mouth, sure that she would puke any moment now, and it would go all over Holtzmann, too, and the mere thought of doing that to her girlfriend only made her feel worse; then, she squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to take a few deep breaths, focusing on the feeling of Holtzmann’s arms around her and on the engineer’s scent, relieved when her stomach settled down again at last.

“Okay”, she breathed, her eyes meeting Holtzmann’s and a bit of relief coming up when she only saw concern and warmth there, “I think I’m okay… We need to follow him, stop him before he can hurt someone, he said…”

“He said someone’s at Columbia is gonna have a meeting with him”, Abby finished for her, worried, “and I doubt he’s going there to have tea and cookies with them. We better get moving.”

“Gear’s in the car”, Holtzmann replied, “Erin, apple of my eye, you sure you’re fit to come along?”

“Yes”, Erin reassured her, determined, coming to her feet with just a bit of help from her, “just for what this ghost said to all of you, I want to kick his spectral ass.”

“Let’s go then”, the engineer gave back, deciding to not question this; Erin nodded, jaw set in determination, and then strode off, the rest hurrying after her, Holtzmann making a mental note to bring the things the ghost had said up later, eager to reassure her partner that she was in this for the long run and that none of the things the ghost had said were true.


	10. Chapter 10

“So that ghost we busted for you guys a few days ago?” Abby rapidly spoke into the cell phone as Holtzmann drove, ignoring speed limits in favour of getting to Columbia quickly, “yeah, we didn’t bust all of him, he got stronger again and he’s on his way to you. He has a grudge to settle, do you know whom that might be with? If yes, warn them, and no matter if you know or don’t, get everyone out of that building again!”

From her seat on the passenger seat, Erin couldn’t quite hear what Filmore replied, just hearing his voice squawk through the speaker; apparently, he wasn’t saying something all too nice though, since Abby’s face darkened, venom in her voice when she replied. “Fine, then don’t evacuate, but don’t you dare come crying to us in case someone gets hurt. We warned you.”

She ended the call and shook her head, grumbling under her breath about stuck-up idiotic deans; knowing Filmore better than any of them, Erin had to agree, her blood running cold as she thought of the number of people at Columbia, of the possibilities the ghost had there – and he only had grown so strong, she realized with dismay, because she hadn’t spoken up when she’d had those dark thoughts, not even having considered the possibility that they might not have been her own.

Holding back a sigh of dismay, Erin looked out the window, feeling bad for having let this happen; Holtzmann had told her, and more than once, that she could talk to her whenever she felt anxious or insecure, and she had kept quiet, unwilling to end up being a burden, and it only had made things worse, had made the ghost stronger until it had been capable of taking hold of her and now it was out there, ready to do God knew what to God whom.

Holtzmann’s hand on her thigh distracted her from these ponderings, and she glanced over at the engineer; even though she was driving, and should focus on the road, the blonde looked back at her, eyes flickering back to the road every now and then, but most of her attention on Erin, and her gaze was so warm and caring that the physicist didn’t have the heart to tell her to focus on the street.

“It’s not your fault”, Holtzmann told her, keeping her voice so low that only Erin heard her; letting the sigh out now, the physicist shrugged, placed her hand on Holtzmann’s though, and earning a brief smile, the engineer then finally focusing on the street again, parking the car a short while later, people once again watching curiously how they got out of the vehicle and geared up.

“He was wrecking Filmore’s office when we found him”, Patty reminded them all, “so maybe we should start there. Maybe Filmore’s the target?”

“Wouldn’t surprise me”, Holtzmann snarked as she made sure that the little digital control panel she wore strapped to her arm was within easy reach and all powered up, “seeing how… _charming_ he can be.”

Erin smiled slightly at that, her girlfriend’s commentary, as so often, making her feel better at once; Holtzmann grinned and winked back at her, then asked if they all were ready, the four of them making their way to the dean’s office afterwards, people looking at them curiously, but nobody asking them what they were doing there.

As she looked at the students and professors crossing their path, Erin began to feel somewhat paranoid, realizing that the ghost could be in any of them; nobody looked as if they wanted to attack them though, but, on the other hand, if that ghost was truly after Filmore, he might not make himself known to him, so they wouldn’t try to stop him before he could do what he had planned to.

They passed several of the people Erin had worked with before she’d been fired, and she heard them begin whispering to each other as the Ghostbusters walked past them; she was so focused on the mission though that she couldn’t have cared less, and even smirked when Holtzmann saluted them in her trademark fashion, one of the women gasping quite audibly in response.

This time, the dean’s office was quiet, no things being tossed around inside; not quite sure what to expect, Erin knocked after a moment, then opened the door, slightly surprised to find Filmore sitting behind his desk and looking at them questioningly, the way he raised an eyebrow at their uniforms and gear making her wonder if he had actually forgotten that they had busted a ghost in this very room just a few days ago.

The place had been cleaned up quickly, Erin noted as she entered, the other three right behind her, taking up a lot of space in the room – and that was odd, she thought to herself, the office had seemed so much bigger when she had sat in it during the time she still had been employed here, but perhaps, she only had been inappropriately impressed back then – none of the ghost attack left; even the diplomas and awards had been reframed, and if she hadn’t known better, she never would have guessed what a mess the place had been when they had come here to bust a ghost.

“Ladies”, Filmore greeted them, and tore Erin out of her musings, “I thank you for your warning, and that you came here once more, but apparently, your concern was not quite necessary. Nobody has reported anything unusual.”

“Not yet”, Abby pointed out, “and if he’s smart, he won’t let anyone notice that he’s there until it’s too late. You don’t happen to know who he was in life and whom he might hold a grudge against, right?”

“No, sorry”, Filmore gave back, just a bit too fast for Erin’s liking; before she could ask him if he was sure though, or be a bit more crass and accuse him of lying, an overly cheerful voice chirped “Excuse me!” behind them, and they automatically all moved aside, making room for the woman Erin recognized as Filmore’s secretary, a plump elder lady who balanced a tray with coffee and a plate of cookies on it.

“Your coffee, Sir”, she said, still in that overly cheerful tone, and suddenly, Erin just had the feeling that something was wrong; she hadn’t met the woman often, only two or three times, but she never had heard her sound like that, cold, professional detachment having dominated her voice whenever she had spoken to Filmore in her presence, and she doubted that she suddenly had changed her way of speaking so drastically.

“It’s her!” she yelped before she could overthink this, deciding to trust her instincts for once; and she realized that she was right at once, the woman’s head whipping around and cold eyes glaring at her – before she dropped the tray, coffee splashing and cookies flying everywhere, and reached toward her back, beneath her blouse, the knife glinting when she pulled it out.

“Margaret!” Filmore squawked, clearly having no idea what was going on; gritting her teeth like some sort of rabid animal, the woman reacted by throwing herself over the desk, trying to stab him, and he let out a surprisingly high-pitched squawk as he, out of pure reflex, pushed himself backwards, away from the desk, until his chair hit the wall.

Without thinking twice, Erin shot forward, hearing Holtzmann yelp her name behind her, but not letting this stop her; she didn’t even know why she would do this, why she’d risk her life for this man who had treated her like a crazy person, and yet here she was, grabbing the possessed secretary’s arm and grappling with her in an attempt to get the knife away from her.

From the corner of her eye, she saw how Holtzmann got moving, as well, Abby and Patty following suit just a second later; and then, the knife flashed again, and suddenly, there was sharp pain in her arm, blood darkening her coveralls, and then Holtzmann was cursing at the woman, calling her an impressive variety of things for injuring her partner.

“Slap her, slap her!” Patty yelled from where she couldn’t quite reach the woman to do that herself; eager to not let Holtzmann get hurt, as well, Erin ignored the pain and the blood pouring down her arm and grabbed the woman’s arm again, keeping her from wielding the knife against them once more, while Abby hastily pulled on her proton puncher, ready to take the ghost out the moment it’d leave the secretary.

Taking the chance Erin had given her by grabbing the woman again, Holtzmann pulled her hand back, then slapped the elder lady, perhaps just a bit harder than necessary; it did the job though, the ghost practically getting catapulted out of her, and Abby had been ready for that moment, her fist slamming forward, a bright flash of proton energy forcing them all to squeeze their eyes shut as the punch landed picture-perfect.

The ghost cried out in pain, but wasn’t quite done yet; gritting her teeth, Abby pulled back again, and the second hit did that, the ghost howling as it disintegrated, leaving just a few blobs of ectoplasm behind, Filmore letting out a heavy breath as he stared at them, clearly having no idea what was going on, while his secretary looked around in confusion, then dropped the knife as it was burning hot, her gaze fixing on Erin, her face paling when she saw that the physicist’s right sleeve was almost fully red by now.

“Oh my God”, she brought out, numbly moving away when Holtzmann shouldered her aside somewhat roughly, clearly not caring that it technically hadn’t been the secretary’s fault, “I’m sorry, I… I don’t know what… Jesus!”

“You were possessed”, Abby explained, while Holtzmann did the first thing she could think of to staunch the bleeding, namely tearing off a piece of her own coveralls and pressing them onto the cut; fortunately, even though it bled quite a bit, it seemed to not go as deep as she had thought at first, and Erin smiled bravely at her, silently reassuring her that she was okay by placing her other hand on the engineer’s, Holtzmann smiling back at her, the smile not quite reaching her eyes though.

“But no worries”, Abby was saying, eager to calm the woman down before she could have some sort of nervous breakdown, “we took care of it, and he’s gone for good now. No more ghost to possess anyone! Mr Filmore, we’ll bill you in the next few days. Erin, you ready to go? Should we take you to the hospital?”

“No, it’s fine”, Erin reassured, keeping the piece of coveralls Holtzmann had covered the wound with in place herself now, “I don’t think it needs stitches.”

She felt Holtzmann’s hand on the small of her back and smiled at her, aware that Filmore was watching them with a raised eyebrow, but not caring the slightest anymore; smiling sweetly at him, as if she hadn’t just saved him from getting stabbed and now was dripping blood all over his carpet, she wished him a good day, then strode off with Holtzmann in tow, Abby giving the dean and his still upset looking secretary a toothy smile as she followed, Patty being the last to leave, the four of them strolling back to their car and skilfully ignoring the way people were staring at Erin and the bloodied sleeve, the whole team glad that the ghost had been taken care of for good now.


	11. Chapter 11

“You’re mad at me.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement, but it came in a small and insecure voice; Erin couldn’t help herself though, not after how none of Holtzmann’s smiles had reached her eyes since they had made it back to HQ, and not after how quiet Holtzmann had been, so unlike her usual energetic self.

“What”, the engineer gave back, looking up from the device she had been tinkering with; her eyes met Erin’s, and she immediately felt bad for having retreated into her own thoughts like this, when Erin so obviously needed her, the pain and fear she could see in the physicist’s eyes making her heart clench up.

“Erin, Sweetheart, no”, she hurriedly reassured her, dropping everything and moving to where the redhead was sitting at her desk, in fresh, clean clothes now, all the blood washed off, a bandage covering the slash the knife had left in her upper arm, “I’m not mad. I just… I don’t get it.”

She pulled up a chair and sat next to Erin, putting one arm around her – making sure to keep her hand away from the bandage – and tenderly pulling her closer; Erin practically slumped into her embrace, still finding it hard to look at her, but at least, she told herself, Holtzmann wasn’t mad at her.

“I don’t get it”, Holtzmann spoke on, playing with a strand of her hair, “why you wouldn’t… say anything, when those dark thoughts started. I’m not mad you didn’t, I swear I’m not, I’m not even sure I _can_ get mad at you, I just want to know.”

“I didn’t know”, Erin let her know in response, barely above a whisper, “I didn’t know these thoughts… weren’t mine. That ghost wasn’t so wrong when he said you’re dating an anxious, neurotic mess, you know.”

This certainly wasn’t news, and Erin knew that Holtzmann was aware of her myriad of issues; it was the first time she acknowledged it openly like this though, and it made her swallow heavily, made her wonder, not for the first time, if perhaps, it had been too much after all, that Holtzmann would tell her now that this was too much of a hassle and that they’d better break up, before her issues would mess the engineer up, too.

“It doesn’t matter if they were yours or not”, Holtzmann told her in a quiet, calm voice, so unlikely her usual tone that it made Erin look at her after all, “you can talk to me about such things, alright? Always. Erin, babe, apple of my eye, you mean so much to me, and I want you to be happy. I want to _make_ you happy.”

“You do”, Erin gave back, even though it suddenly was hard to talk around the lump in her throat, “honestly, Holtz, I never thought I’d find anyone who’d ever make me feel this way, and who’d feel the same way for me, too, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything… I should have…”

She tried to hold the tears back, but didn’t quite succeed, and a few of them escaped, rolling down her cheeks; immediately, Holtzmann pulled her even closer, rubbing her back soothingly, tenderly kissing her temple before she quietly murmured into her ear, telling her everything she needed to hear.

“It’s okay, it’s okay”, she reassured her, just like before they had kissed for the first time, Erin remembered, out in the rain, after she had run off in a moment of panic, “really, it is, don’t cry, please? Or I’m gonna cry too and I’m a really ugly crier, you don’t want to see that, believe me. Just… For the future, tell me whenever you think or feel this way, alright? Cause you’re a genius, _my_ genius, and I’m gonna talk back to anyone who claims otherwise, even if it’s your own brain.”

At this, Erin smiled weakly, just what Holtzmann had been hoping for when she had said those things; she smiled back at her, still rubbing her back, then kissed her tenderly, not caring a bit about the slightly salty taste which came with the kiss, and hoping she could put the things she felt so deeply, but couldn’t quite say – not yet – into them, so Erin would know, even if they weren’t said out loud.

“I’m glad you’re not mad”, Erin mumbled after the kiss, leaning into her embrace once more, and resting her head on the engineer’s shoulder, “I really thought you’re pissed at me, for not saying anything and for, uhm, well, kinda endangering myself to rescue Filmore. I know you don’t like him.”

“I don’t”, Holtzmann replied, “don’t think I ever will, not that I think we will run into him so often in the future. But it’s our job to help people, even though we usually help them against ghosts and not knife-wielding, possessed maniacs, so I couldn’t ever be mad at you for that. I’m glad you didn’t get hurt worse though.”

Her fingers lightly ran over the bandage, just with enough pressure that Erin could feel it, but not so much that it would have hurt; Erin shrugged, then smiled, poking at her side afterwards, sounding much more light-hearted and happier when she replied, now that her worries about Holtzmann being mad at her were gone.

“Says the woman who let a ghost toss her down a whole staircase”, she reminded, earning a little huff from the engineer, “and yes, before you point it out, I know this could have ended worse. It didn’t though, so you’re still ahead of me when it comes to injury points.”

“Don’t make it a contest”, Holtzmann warned her, earning a little giggle, “you know how competitive I can get.”

“It is not a contest, Holtzmann”, Erin told her at once, strictly; Holtzmann laughed in reply, and just like that, Erin felt good again, happy and at peace, and she smiled before she leaned in for another kiss.

Her insecurities and anxieties wouldn’t magically vanish from one day to the next, she knew, and she didn’t expect that; what she did know though was that Holtzmann had meant it when she had said that she would help her with this any way she could, that she’d be there for her when she needed it and that she’d speak up against the dark voices in her mind, and just knowing that she had someone like Holtzmann in her life now made it so much easier, the smile on her face happy and genuine as she snuggled up to Holtzmann again, once more feeling truly and completely at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And! It is done. Thank you all so much for reading, kudos and commenting, you all made many of my days :) There will be a third part for this soon and, because I'm hopeless, a fourth one might come, too *sigh* Hahaha. I hope you enjoyed reading this! :D


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